Our family shapes who we are and who we become. Whether
positive or negative, close or torn apart: we are a base of our childhood.
A former friend used to say that he was who he was because
of his father. His father was an alcoholic, a liar and a non-existent parent
while he was a child. He used his teenage and adult life to strive to be better
than his dad. He swore he would never become the person his dad was, and did an
amazing job at doing so.
I swore I never wanted to become my mother. But to a degree,
I did. I am like her in many ways. I believe in being fair, hard work, love,
loyalty and being surrounded by family. I believe in curfews, rules, breaking
rules and having fun. I always include my family. I tell the truth. I have
become a version of my mother.
Different friends of mine love their families, hate their
families, they live close or far away from them. But whatever the situation is
– they are a part of their family. Always.
Although our family is our base, I am also a believer in change. In an
interview I watched this morning with Kris Carr and Marie Forleo, they
mentioned finding your voice. Kris said “it’s not a matter of finding your
voice, but rather giving yourself permission to use it.” It’s so true. We grow
up in our families – as the child – and when we are grown adults with families
of our own, we are still “the child” when we visit our homes. She meant this in
the blogosphere, or in our “brand” but I mean it in both our work AND our
family. Sometimes, even when we find our voice, we are not able to fully
express it due to family constraints.
Like it or not – they are where you come from. It doesn’t
mean that you will become your mother, or fall into the same patterns as your
family. But by being with them, you have a base from your childhood. If you
break the pattern of your family’s life, you learned the pattern from them and
then willed yourself to create a new life. If you created positive from the
negative, you were affected by the negative and changed for the better. They shape
you.
For some of us, we are very lucky and blessed. My entire
life has revolved around my family. I am equally as blessed because my husband
grew up in the same way – family bonds and ties mean everything. Together, we
are creating the best family for ourselves possible. We believe in doing things
as a unit and a team. We believe that by working together, and using love as
our base, we can achieve anything!
I know many people who live the opposite. Their lives
are full of “mandatory” family get-togethers, fake smiles and long drives.
There are days when I have to fake a smile or two, but my family always knows
when I am not being genuine. They can read my bad moods, make me laugh and make
me smile. We operate as a unit and a team. We love one another deeply. We make
each other laugh, have inside jokes, tons of memories and the best grandmother
anyone could ever ask for. At 81 years old, she doesn’t look or act a day over
63!
Be grateful for your family. Whether you had a bad childhood
or past, or an amazing and loving one, be grateful. Give gratitude straight
from your heart and be thankful for all of the lessons. They truly shaped you
to become who you are in this moment. You are a product of your own strength,
challenges, changes and experiences, but your base is made up largely of your
past and what you took from it.
If you’re close to your mom, call her today.
If your grandmother is your best friend, let her know.
If your uncle ran away from your family and broke your
hearts, forgive him.
If your papa was an alcoholic, let it be. Let it go.
Unleash your throat chakra. Our throat chakra controls our
communications. The things we say and the things we wish we could say. Write a
letter, burn it or throw it in the ocean. Allow those words to be heard and
then let it go. Move on. Use it as a lesson. Allow those lessons to be just
that: an experience. Then let it be and move on to something more positive and
productive.
Live the best life you can. Don’t look back with regret.
Write those letters, get it all all! Scream into the woods, scream in shower.
LET IT ALL OUT AND THEN LET IT ALL GO!
Surround yourself instead with love.
Be thankful and grateful for your family. No matter who they
are.
Get out there – do yoga & make life sparkle!
Namaste,
Jenny
