One of the most ridiculous conversations I have been having with myself lately is: “Am I “yogi” enough to be a yoga instructor?
I am bigger than most of my co-workers (and I am not that big... I just pack a little more weight), I drink wine and sometimes tequila on a girls night out, I eat meat, I curse when I stub my toe and there are days when I forget to breathe because something extremely stressful has happened. I wonder if all of these qualities make me less of a yoga instructor and more of a poser.
And then I remember that when I am in traffic I do breathe. I breathe through the difficult moments, even when it hurts. I bring my mala beads with me in my purse in case I need a hand to hold that may not be there to touch. I bring my spirit and my breathe and my love with me into the community when I teach for Journey to Hope as well as my regular weekly classes.
This isn’t to say that it isn’t hard. Being someone of average size, surrounded by tiny yogis who breathe in yoga and look effortless, I am sometimes catching my ego and asking myself what if. What if ALL my music collection was Snatam Kaur and Krisna Das? What if I practiced meditation on my mat every morning and ate only a raw vegan diet? Would I be a better yogi?
No. Not necessarily. Because I wouldn’t be being true to myself. I love to eat meat. I believe that by eating a healthy, balanced diet including WHOLE foods, I am finding balance, health and wellness. I try not to eat processed foods, I have cut cola products (94%) from my diet, I am concious of not only natural food products, but also natural cleaning products. All the meat we choose to eat is free range and organic. I am feeding myself spiritually, physically and emotionally with my own yoga practice. The practice of patience, understanding and observing.